4 Ways to Heal From Mormon Religious Trauma (A therapist’s perspective for ex-Mormon women)

Leaving Mormonism can be one of the most disorienting experiences of your life. For many women, especially mothers, it isn’t just about changing beliefs. It’s about untangling identity, rebuilding trust with your body, and learning how to feel safe again in the world.

If we haven’t met yet, I’m Chelsey Liaga, a therapist who specializes in maternal mental health and religious trauma. I work primarily with ex-Mormon women and moms, and I’m also someone who grew up Mormon, left the church, and had to do my own healing work along the way.

In this post, I want to walk you through four evidence-informed ways to heal from Mormon religious trauma. Both from a clinical perspective and from lived experience.

These approaches aren’t mutually exclusive. Most people move between them, revisit them, or engage in several at the same time. There’s no “right order,” no finish line, and no one-size-fits-all path. But every single one of these can help.

1. Deconstruction: Taking Apart What Was Built Around You

 

Deconstruction is a word that gets used constantly in ex-Mormon spaces, but I think it helps to visualize what it actually means.

Imagine you were born standing on a concrete slab. Over time, a house was built around you—brick by brick.

That house is made of:

• Primary lessons

• Girls Camp messages

• Seminary teachings

• Scripture study

• Modesty rules

• Gender roles

• Purity culture

• Black-and-white thinking

• Beliefs about worth, obedience, and authority

At some point, you look around and realize: I don’t like this house. This doesn’t feel safe. This doesn’t align with my values.

Deconstruction is the process of walking through that house and deciding:

• What do I want to keep?

• What no longer belongs here?

• What actually harmed me?

Maybe you want to deconstruct purity culture.
Maybe it’s the belief that you’re inherently broken.
Maybe it’s judgment toward people outside the church.

Some pieces stay. Many don’t.

Deconstruction is often research-heavy and can include:

• Reading books like When Religion Hurts You by Laura Anderson

• Listening to podcasts (Girls Camp, Mormon Stories, etc.)

• Hearing other people’s stories and recognizing yourself in them

This process can be incredibly validating and empowering. It’s also ongoing. Most people don’t just deconstruct Mormonism… they go on to deconstruct gender roles, diet culture, sexuality, consumerism, and more. Learning how to deconstruct is a lifelong skill.

2. Corrective Experiences: Letting Your Body Learn It’s Safe

 

Corrective experiences are experiences that counter what you were taught to fear.

They help your brain and body learn:
“This thing I was warned about… isn’t actually dangerous.”

Examples of corrective experiences after Mormonism might include:

• Seeing women in spiritual leadership

• Becoming friends with people who drink responsibly

• Wearing a tank top and realizing nothing bad happens

• Not paying tithing and noticing you aren’t cursed

• Ordering coffee and discovering it’s… just coffee

In Mormonism, fear is often used to control behavior. Corrective experiences gently undo that fear—not through logic, but through lived reality.

Another way to think about this is opposite action:

“I was taught to do it this way. What happens if I try the opposite?”

At first, these experiences can feel terrifying. Your nervous system expects consequences. But over time, your body starts to relax.

Corrective experiences tell your nervous system:

• I’m allowed to be different.

• I’m safe now.

• I don’t need to be controlled to be okay.

And yes, sometimes they’re actually fun!

3. Rebuilding Community After Leaving the Church

 

You weren’t hurt in isolation. You won’t heal in isolation either.

One of the hardest parts of leaving Mormonism is the loss of built-in community. Rebuilding connection takes intention, time, and grief.

Dig deeper: Read How to Find Community After Leaving the LDS Church

Here are a few ways community healing often happens:

Group Therapy

Group therapy for religious trauma or faith transitions can be deeply validating. Hearing your story reflected in others reduces shame and isolation. It’s structured, facilitated by a therapist, and can be incredibly powerful.

Support Groups

Support groups, both virtual and in-person, can offer connection without the intensity of therapy. These might focus on:

• Faith transitions

• Religious trauma

• Ex-Mormon women

• Motherhood (postpartum support, parenting, mental health)

Organizations like Postpartum Support International offer many free virtual groups.

Friendship

Friendship outside Mormonism is healing, but it takes time. Real friendship requires hours together, repeated contact, and shared experiences.

This might mean:

• Meeting for coffee regularly

• Joining a class or group

• Being a little more vulnerable than feels comfortable

Friends who were never Mormon can also offer a healing perspective, and often humor, as you process what you were taught.

Family Relationships

Family relationships can be complicated after leaving the church. But when safe, working toward authenticity and differentiation can deepen connection.

Being loved as your real self, not your church role, is one of the most healing experiences there is.

I’ve experienced this in my own marriage. Leaving Mormonism ended one version of our relationship and allowed something deeper and more honest to grow.

4. Nervous System Healing: Trauma Lives in the Body

 

Religious trauma isn’t just about beliefs. It lives in the nervous system.

Your nervous system is the network of nerves that sends information between your body and brain. Over time, it learns what’s “safe” and what’s “dangerous.”

In high-demand religion, your nervous system may have learned:

• Authority figures aren’t safe

• Disobedience equals danger

• Being seen leads to shame

• Your body can’t be trusted

Nervous system healing helps retrain those responses.

This often happens through trauma-focused therapies like:

• Brainspotting

• EMDR

• Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)

I’m trained in Brainspotting, which uses eye positions and bilateral stimulation to help the brain process and store traumatic memories differently, reducing their emotional charge.

Instead of trauma feeling like a beach ball stuffed into a filing cabinet (easy to bump into, overwhelming), it becomes something smaller, organized, and less intrusive.

Nervous system healing doesn’t erase your story. It helps your body realize the threat has passed.

Healing Religious Trauma Is About Safety, Not More Studying

 

Healing from Mormon religious trauma isn’t about learning more doctrine or researching harder.

It’s about:

• Understanding how Mormonism shaped you

• Noticing how your body learned to survive

• Gently creating new experiences of safety

Healing happens when your nervous system catches up to what your mind already knows:

I’m not in danger anymore.

Not Sure If What You’re Experiencing Is Religious Trauma?

 

If you’re wondering whether your experiences “count,” I created a Religious Trauma Symptoms Quiz to help you reflect.

It’s not a diagnosis, but it can help you name patterns, validate your experience, and decide what kind of support might help next.

You don’t have to rush.
You don’t have to have all the answers.
And you’re not broken for needing support.

If you want to explore therapy, faith transition support, or Brainspotting intensives, you can learn more throughout my website.