How to Find Community After Leaving the LDS Church

Leaving the LDS Church can feel like ripping out the roots of your social life. If you’re anything like I was, your entire sense of community was built around church activities—Sunday services, Relief Society, playdates, ward activities, visiting teaching. When I left the church, I remember feeling this hollow emptiness where my village used to be. Who was I supposed to text when I needed help? Who would bring me dinner after I have a baby? Where would I find people who truly got me?

If you’re feeling that same sense of loneliness and disconnection right now, I want you to know—you’re not alone. Rebuilding your village after leaving the church is absolutely possible. It takes a shift in mindset, a little courage, and a willingness to put yourself out there. But I promise, finding connection on your terms is one of the most empowering things you can do!

Step 1: Shift Your Mindset—It’s Not About Replacing the Whole Ward

One of the biggest mental roadblocks I had to work through was the idea that I needed to recreate the sense of instant belonging that the church gave me. I used to walk into a ward event and automatically have 50 built-in friends—people who knew me, asked about my life, and would show up with a casserole if I had a baby or got sick.

But here’s the truth: You don’t need to recreate a ward. You just need one or two meaningful connections to start feeling less alone.

Instead of focusing on creating a whole friend group, shift your goal to finding one person at a time. One solid friendship can create a ripple effect. When you find one person who gets you, you’ll naturally start getting introduced to their friends and invited to their gatherings. Building community is a slow process—but it starts with just one person.

Step 2: Use Technology as Your Friend

When I first left the church, I had no idea how to make friends without the built-in structure of ward activities. But technology makes this SO much easier than you’d think.

Here’s how you can use social media and local platforms to find your people:

• Post in a local Facebook group. Seriously—this works. Be honest and specific. Try something like:
  

  “Hi! I’m looking to connect with other moms in the Queen Creek area. I’m a mom of two little ones, love hiking and coffee dates, and would love to find a friend to hang out with or do park playdates. If you’re also looking for connection, send me a message!”

• Join Meetup or Bumble BFF. There are tons of groups for local moms, walking groups, book clubs, and more.
• Follow local community pages. Queen Creek has several active pages where events, mom meetups, and playdates are posted.
• Send a DM! If you see someone post about something that resonates with you, don’t be afraid to slide into their DMs. A simple “Hey, I saw your post about hiking—would you want to meet up sometime?” can open the door to a new friendship.

Step 3: Replace Those 2 Hours a Week

Think about how you used to spend at least two hours a week socializing with local people when you went to church. Between church on Sunday, Relief Society, and callings, you were essentially conditioned to spend time with people every week.

Now that church is no longer filling that space, it’s time to intentionally replace it with other social opportunities. Try:

• Signing up for a local workout class
• Attending a weekly mom-and-baby playgroup
• Hosting a casual coffee date or wine night at your house
• Joining a book club or hobby group

You were already spending this time socializing—it’s just about redirecting that energy toward things that align with who you are now.

  Dig Deeper: Read the 2 Part Series - “Who Am I Without Them?” Healing Identity & Enmeshment After High-Demand Religion (Part 1)

Step 4: How to Find Local Friends in Queen Creek

If you’re local to Queen Creek, AZ (like me!), you’re in luck—there are some incredible opportunities to meet other moms and build friendships. Here are some places to start:

• Queen Creek Moms Facebook Group – This is a very active group where moms post about meetups, playdates, and more. Find it here.
• Queen Creek Family Resource Center– This is a great place to take your kids to and chat with the other moms while the kids play. They also have a lot of info about local resources for families! Learn more here.
• Fit4Mom Queen Creek – A fitness group for moms that includes stroller workouts and a super welcoming community. Check it out here.
• Queen Creek Library Story Time – Weekly story time is a low-pressure way to meet other moms while your kids play. Find the schedule here.

Step 5: Be Willing to Make the First Move

I know this part feels hard. It’s vulnerable to say, “Hey, want to grab coffee sometime?” But chances are, the other mom is just as desperate for connection as you are.

When I first started rebuilding my social circle, I realized that most people are so relieved when someone else makes the first move. A simple “Hey, want to meet up at the park sometime?” is all it takes to open the door to a new friendship.

You Can Build a Village on Your Terms

Leaving the LDS Church means losing the built-in community—but it also means you get to create connection in a way that feels right for you. You get to choose people who align with your values and make you feel truly seen and supported. It’s not about recreating what you had. It’s about creating something better.

If this process feels overwhelming or you’re struggling to navigate this transition, you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy for faith transitions can be an incredible tool to help you work through the emotional side of leaving the church and empower you to build meaningful relationships. If you’re ready to start, I’d love to support you.

Click here to schedule a free consultation and let’s start building your new village together!