3 Relationship Books That Help After Leaving the Mormon Church
Many women I work with are navigating major shifts in their relationships. They’re dealing with things like leaving Mormonism, becoming a mother, or healing from religious trauma. These significant life transitions often change how you see yourself, your needs, and your marriage.
For a lot of women, marriage didn’t fall apart, but it didn’t stay the same either. Roles feel different. Emotional needs are clearer. Old coping strategies stop working. And suddenly, you’re realizing you were never taught how to understand or express your inner world outside of rigid expectations.
Relationship books can’t solve everything, but they can help you build language for emotions, needs, and connection… especially when you’re learning to trust yourself again.
Below are three relationship books I often recommend to women who want to better understand their marriage while they’re changing too.
Review of “The 5 Love Languages”
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman – Purchase it here “The 5 Love Languages” offers a simple framework for understanding how people give and receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.
While this book is often marketed to couples, it can be especially helpful for women unpacking how they learned to show love in environments that emphasized service, self-sacrifice, and approval. Many ex-Mormon women realize they were taught to give love in very specific ways, without being encouraged to identify or voice what they need.
This book provides accessible language for naming needs and noticing patterns. While it isn’t deeply research-based, it can be a helpful entry point if you’re brand new to learning healthy relationship skills or beginning to express yourself more openly.
Review of “Hold Me Tight”
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson – Purchase it here
Based on attachment theory, “Hold Me Tight” explores the emotional bonds that shape adult relationships. It focuses on how people seek safety, reassurance, and connection—especially during moments of stress or conflict.
For women healing from religious trauma or faith transitions, this book can be especially validating. Many were taught to distrust their emotions or prioritize harmony over honesty. Understanding attachment patterns can help explain why certain interactions feel overwhelming or why disconnection feels so threatening.
This book includes guided reflections and conversations that can help you understand your emotional responses and relational triggers. It’s a deeper, more emotionally focused read and can be especially helpful if you’re ready to feel and name what’s happening inside you.
Review of “The Love Prescription”
The Love Prescription by John Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD – Purchase it here
“The Love Prescription” offers a practical, approachable look at how small daily actions influence connection. The Gottmans emphasize simple behaviors that build trust, reduce conflict, and support emotional closeness.
This book can be helpful for women who feel overwhelmed by big-picture questions and want something concrete. It provides structure without pressure and can be especially supportive during seasons when your energy is limited—like early motherhood or major life transitions.
Designed as a short, seven-day experience, it’s engaging and easy to digest. If reading feels hard right now, this is often the most accessible place to start.
Dig Deeper: Read: Marriage Book Review: The Love Prescription by the Gottmans
Why Relationship Books Can Be Helpful During Identity Shifts
Reading relationship books isn’t about fixing your partner. For many women, it’s about understanding themselves more clearly.
These books can help you:
Develop language for emotions and needs
Notice patterns shaped by conditioning or trauma
Understand why relationships feel different now
Build self-trust in how you relate and communicate
They’re also one of the most affordable ways to access expert insight while you’re figuring out what support you need next.
Dig Deeper: Read: Rebuilding Self-Trust After Mormonism: Not Just a Mindset Shift
How to Use These Books Without Overwhelming Yourself
You don’t need to do this “perfectly.” Many women find it helpful to:
Read slowly and reflect on what resonates
Journal or pause when something brings up emotion
Share insights with a partner if and when it feels safe
Focus on self-understanding rather than relationship performance
You’re allowed to take what helps and leave the rest.
When Books Aren’t Enough
While relationship books can be supportive, they don’t address the deeper layers many women carry—especially when faith transitions, religious trauma, or motherhood are involved.
I work exclusively with women navigating identity shifts, healing from religious trauma, and rebuilding self-trust after Mormonism. If relationships feel confusing or emotionally charged right now, that doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It may mean there’s more to unpack.
You can learn more about my work and available support here.
Take the Free Religious Trauma Symptoms Quiz!
If you’re unsure whether religious trauma is playing a role in your relationship or identity struggles, my free Religious Trauma Symptoms Quiz is a gentle place to start. It can help you put words to experiences that are often hard to explain.
Some of the links in this post are affiliate links. This means that, at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. I only recommend products or services that I trust and believe will add value to my readers.
