Spirituality After Mormonism: Definitions, Tips, How To

Leaving the LDS Church often creates an unexpected question:

If I’m not Mormon anymore… what do I believe? And what does spirituality even mean now?

For many ex-Mormons, spirituality feels confusing, triggering, or even off-limits after deconstruction. Some want nothing to do with anything spiritual again. Others feel a quiet longing for connection but don’t know where to begin.

As a therapist who specializes in religious trauma and faith transitions, and as someone who left Mormonism myself, I’ve walked this road personally and professionally.

Let’s talk about what spirituality after Mormonism can actually look like.

What Is Spirituality, Really?

Spirituality is notoriously hard to define.

Here are a few formal definitions you might find:

• The quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul rather than material things.

• Seeking a meaningful connection with something bigger than yourself, often resulting in peace, awe, gratitude, or acceptance.

But the definition that resonates most deeply with me, and with many of my clients, is this:

Spirituality is anything that makes you feel beloved, alive, and connected.

Beloved.
Alive.
Connected.

That’s it.

And notice: that definition doesn’t mention church attendance, scripture study, obedience, or worthiness.

 

How Mormonism Framed Spirituality

If you grew up Mormon, spirituality likely had a very specific look.

Ten years ago, if someone had asked me what a “spiritual” person looked like, I would have pictured someone who:

• Read their scriptures daily

• Attended church faithfully

• Made polished comments in Relief Society

• Had a calm, reverent demeanor

• Knew doctrine well

Spirituality was often equated with righteousness.

The more someone fit the “good Mormon” archetype, the more spiritual they were perceived to be.

That framework creates something subtle but powerful: Spirituality becomes performance-based.

It becomes something you prove.

And when you leave Mormonism, that entire structure collapses.

Which leads to an important question.

 

Who Would You Be If Mormonism Had Never Defined You?

When I work with ex-Mormon women in therapy, I often ask:

• Who would you be if you were never introduced to Mormonism?

• What would you be drawn to?

• What qualities would you cultivate?

• What environments would feel sacred to you?

This isn’t about rejecting everything from your past.

It’s about reclaiming authorship.

Because when spirituality is no longer defined for you, it becomes something you get to discover.

Were Your “Spiritual” Experiences Actually About Something Else?

Another powerful exercise is to reflect on your most meaningful spiritual experiences within Mormonism.

Ask yourself:

• Where were you?

• Who were you with?

• What were you doing?

• What did it feel like in your body?

When clients do this, patterns often emerge.

Maybe your most “spiritual” experiences happened:

• In nature at Girls Camp

• Singing in a group

• Writing in your journal

• Serving someone one-on-one

• Sitting quietly alone

When you strip away the religious framing, what remains?

Connection.
Presence.
Belonging.
Beauty.

Those elements can still exist outside of Mormonism. The church does not own them.

 

Mormonism Doesn’t Have a Monopoly on Spirituality

Spirituality has existed across cultures and religions for thousands of years.

Long before Mormonism.
Long before Christianity.
Long before organized religion as we know it.

Across the world, spirituality has looked like:

• Dancing

• Music

• Art

• Ritual

• Nature

• Storytelling

• Community gatherings

What Mormonism offered was certainty.

Clear answers. Clear authority. Clear structure.

Outside of Mormonism, spirituality often feels more mystical. Less certain. Less defined.

And that lack of certainty can feel destabilizing at first. But it can also be freeing.

Spirituality After Religious Trauma Can Feel Triggering

This part matters.

If you experienced religious trauma, even the word “spirituality” can activate your nervous system.

Why?

Because spirituality often requires:

• Trusting your body

• Trusting your intuition

• Trusting your internal experience

And if you were taught not to trust yourself,  not to trust your body, reconnecting can feel vulnerable.

So if you explore spirituality after Mormonism:

Go slowly. Take breaks. Let it be gentle.

You don’t have to force anything!

 

The Temptation to Replace Mormonism With Another Authority

One thing I see frequently in faith transitions is this:

When someone leaves a high-demand religion, there’s often a pull toward another intense structure.

Another system with a strong leader, rigid framework and more all-or-nothing thinking.

It’s what feels familiar.

You were conditioned to relate to spirituality through authority and certainty.

But here’s permission you may not have heard before:

Spirituality can be small.
It can be quiet.
It can be simple.

It doesn’t have to dominate your life the way Mormonism did.

 

Practical Ways to Explore Spirituality After Mormonism

Here are some gentle, grounded places to start, if you want to.

1. Meditation

This could be:

• Guided meditation

• Loving-kindness meditation

• Walking meditation

• Group meditation classes

• YouTube sessions at home

Meditation isn’t about emptying your mind. It’s about noticing what’s there.

If you like structure, guided meditations can feel safer. If you prefer freedom, silent meditation may work better.

 

2. Yoga

Yoga can be a powerful way to reconnect with your body in a non-judgmental way.

If Mormonism taught you to override your body, yoga invites you to listen to it.

You’re not trying to perform.
You’re noticing sensation.
Breath.
Limits.

That can be profoundly healing.

 

3. Journaling (The Honest Kind)

Not the “posterity will read this” version.

The private version.

Stream-of-consciousness writing.
Lists of what you like.
Things you don’t like.
What you’re curious about.
What makes you angry.

No audience.
No performance.

Just honesty.

 

4. Nature

Forest bathing.
Hiking.
Sitting quietly outside with coffee.
Watching a sunset.

Nature doesn’t require worthiness.

It simply exists.

Many ex-Mormons realize that what they once labeled “the Spirit” in church was actually awe in nature.

You can still access awe.

 

5. Personal Rituals

Ritual doesn’t have to be religious.

It can be:

• Drinking coffee in silence each morning

• Lighting a candle before journaling

• Watching the full moon

• Listening to the same song before bed

Ritual is simply repetition with intention.

 

6. Art and Music

Art.
Painting.
Writing.
Music.
Sound baths.
Dancing in your kitchen.

Creative expression can create aliveness, which, remember, is part of spirituality.

 

7. Inner Child Work

This might involve:

• Guided inner child meditations

• Therapy sessions focused on younger parts of you

• Writing letters to your younger self

Reconnecting with parts of you that were suppressed can feel deeply sacred.

 

8. Self-Compassion

This might be the most accessible spiritual practice of all.

Self-compassion is simply speaking to yourself the way you would speak to someone you love.

Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion is a beautiful starting place.

Because here’s the truth:

If you commit to treating yourself with kindness, your life will start to feel more connected, more alive, and more beloved. That counts!

 

Spirituality After Mormonism Is Often About Finding Yourself

In my own experience leaving Mormonism, spirituality stopped being about finding God the “right” way.

It became about finding myself.

It became about asking:

• What makes me feel alive?

• What makes me feel grounded?

• What makes me feel deeply connected to this moment?

Spirituality after Mormonism isn’t about replacing certainty. It’s about rediscovering presence in your own life and body.

 

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

If you’re exploring spirituality after Mormonism and feeling:

• Confused

• Triggered

• Curious but unsure

• Longing for connection

You’re not behind or broken. You’re deconditioning.

If you’re wondering whether religious trauma is still impacting your ability to connect with yourself, you can start with my Religious Trauma Symptoms Quiz.

And if you want deeper therapeutic support, whether weekly therapy or a Brainspotting intensive, I work with ex-Mormon women navigating faith transitions and identity reconstruction.

You don’t have to force certainty.
You don’t have to rush connection.
You don’t have to recreate Mormonism in a new costume.

Healing often begins when you stop trying to perform spirituality…and start noticing what makes you feel beloved, alive, and connected.